All in Thoughts
These are the times when I feel I should not be around people. No matter how good or inspirational or kind they may be. And these are also the times when my self-esteem sees only what it chooses to see and finds nothing but its own version of the truth.
There is an agenda, of course. There is always a reason, even if I don't yet know what it might be, don't yet understand. I suspect, and that is enough.
So I was delighted and maybe just a little bit proud to be involved once again at the weekend with another wonderful and uplifting display of support and awareness for this very important subject. As before, a group of football fans decided to walk the 12 miles between their respective teams home grounds before a match between their clubs in order to raise awareness in the media of the still frankly terrifying figures of male suicide in the UK.
And at times like this, I am grateful. Grateful that my place of work is located out in the countryside. And blessed that I am able to find birdsong, beauty and solitude on a deserted riverbank or a silent churchyard within minutes.
I quite like this photograph.
I took it at a recent gig.
And I thought, I really want to share it on my blog. But if I do, what will I write to go with it.
I walked this morning. For miles and hours. Along lanes, tracks and footpaths. Across fields and through woods. I saw the sun rise and gazed as the blue sky appeared over hedgerows and stone walls. I startled horses from their solitary feeding in fields of dew-wet grass and caused cows to stop and stare mid-chew as I watched them over the gate.
And to witness so many students out on the streets of London and across the UK last week in protest at climate change and the way in which generations before them have effectively destroyed their future was, well, a joy.
So I guess it is like taking a massive leap of faith whilst knowing you still have the safety net of obscurity lurking beneath you. Enough to challenge your boundaries but not sufficient to scare you back into the gloom of inaction.
A flavour of spring in a winter landscape is sometimes all it takes to fill a heart and to raise a face towards the glorious sunshine.
Some people show their kindness and inner beauty in a way that is as breathtaking as the most stunning view or the most idyllic of locations.
We are not all alike and whilst we may not want to be the same as many of the people we meet, it is good to acknowledge and accept our differences.
But right now, these are people showing their kindness and inner beauty and it feels important to me that I recognise them for what they are doing and share it here.
The starkness of winter. Tall, bare trees becoming one with their own dark shadows in the low afternoon sunshine.
For the second time in just over a month I am planning to write about a powerful, moving and heartbreaking documentary.
It suddenly feels very modern and on trend to pass judgement and declare our moral outrage
And I've done a lot. Visited new countries and places closer to home. Challenged myself to take more photographs on a regular basis. And, perhaps scariest of all, I have tried to write and see if I could find a voice for myself.
The time between Christmas and the New Year. It's difficult to define. Frequently, it feels as if everything is on hold, almost in limbo, before we restart the clock again in January.
The routines and traditions that so often remind us of our parents and our own childhood. A rare opportunity to remember a world that seems more innocent and so much kinder than how we live now.
